View From the Bushes

Remember how I promised something by the end of the day on Saturday? Okay, I lied. Saturday got off to a slow start and the latest NPC was more complicated than I thought. Not only were there the four different exotic levels (an imp does not use the same equipment as frost giant, by the way) there were four or five different levels of animal companions for every level plus different packs for every level. The main encounter block ended up being over 2100 lines of code, and that doesn't count items, monsters or npcs... Well that's enough whining... oh wait, in a manner analogous to John Paul Jones I have not yet begun to whine.

So then last night I was seriously maybe a half an hour from being done when suddenly the internet went down. I hate starting something, getting in the zone and then not being able to finish, so I stayed awake hoping it would come back up, but as of 12:45 it had not, so I woke up this morning at 6 am and finished it. Overall, this guy was quite a bit of work, but in one of those "natural laws" that your parents are always trying to teach you when you're young but never succeed the more work it required the better you feel about something, and let me just tell you, this guy is cool. You have your choice of a 'vanilla' half-elven ranger with a pack of wolves, a 'diverse' goblin ranger with a pack of worgs, an 'extreme' frost giant ranger with a pack of winter wolves and finally an imp ranger with a pack of hell hounds. Seriously, check it out. Of course, in order to justify my time with this one, only the 'vanilla' version is available to demo subscribers, to get the whole enchilada, as it were, you have to be a full subscriber.

My number two son has become fascinated with the word "donkey" and it put me in mind of that News Radio episode when Jimmy James has his book "Jimmy James, Capitalist Lion Tamer" translated to Japanese back into English, with humorous results:

"The original title of this book was 'Jimmy James, Capitalist Lion Tamer' but I see now that it's... 'Jimmy James, Macho Business Donkey Wrestler'... you know what it is... I had the book translated in to Japanese then back in again into English. Macho Business Donkey Wrestler... well there you go... it's got kind of a ring to it don't it? Anyway, I wanted to read from chapter three... which is the story of my first rise to financial prominence... I had a small house of brokerage on Wall Street... many days no business come to my hut... my hut... but Jimmy has fear? A thousand times no. I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey strong bowels were girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo... dung.
...Glorious sunset of my heart was fading. Soon the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. But Jimmy has fancy plans... and pants to match. The monkey clown horrible karate round and yummy like cute small baby chick would beat the donkey.

Question: Mr. James, what did you mean when you wrote bad clown making like super American car racers, I would make them sweat, War War?
Answer: Well, you know... it's LIKE when a clown is making like a car... racer... it's sorta... like... the FCC. The CLOWN... the clown is like the FCC... and I was opposed to the FCC at the time, right? So it was like I was declaring War. WARRRR!.
Question: So then did the American yum yum clown monkey also represent the FCC?
Answer: Yeah, it did. Thanks a LOT!
Question: What did you mean when you said, "feel my skills, donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey?"
Answer: (Sigh)

You can find a bunch more hilarious Jimmy James Quotes here. And by the way Hollywood, I'll see just about anything if it has Stephen Root in it.

As far as the tour, Monday was a rest day, but nothing major happened over the weekend, though I think the lack of a powerful sprint team is starting to be keenly felt. Several of the stages were won or almost won by people attacking in the last few kilometers. Back in the day when Cippolini was in his prime and was charging into town behind the train there was no way anyone had the speed to launch an attack. In any case, the first thing resembling a mountain stage comes tomorrow so we'll see how that goes; I think everyone is more than ready to see some action among the GC contenders.

Carpe Diem Quam Minimum Credula Postero
Ross