View From the Bushes

Work has been really busy today. I guess that's what happens when there's a big holiday. All over the company, hundreds and thousands of times, someone said, "Let's wait until Monday to do that, no sense doing it the day before/after Thanksgiving." Part of the problem is that my boss, in obvious retaliation for all the French jokes I've been telling, made me be on the IT Christmas Party committee. I was designated to send out the e-mail announcing this year's contest. I put together this well-crafted gem:

This Christmas' permutation of "Do something creative and hang it in a prominent place so that your co-workers may mock you" will be stockings. We don't want to get into an etymological discussion as to what constitutes a stocking, but recycling stuff from previous years will probably be frowned upon.

Turn your stockings in to the IT secretary She'll assign them a number and hang them on the faux fireplace, so that all may bask in your festive brilliance. Prizes will be given for most creative stocking, most representative (most representative of what is left to your judgement, but we prefer, "most representative of the underlying neuroses of the person submitting the stocking") and the person who most accurately assigns the stockings to their creators.

I was a little surprised by how many people complained that the letter was too pedantic (of course they didn't use those words -- they said it had "too many big words"). Oh well, so it goes. I didn't have a chance to dig up any cool links so I'm going to recycle an oldie but a goodie.

Carpe Diem Quam Minimum Credula Postero
Ross